To keep a distance? To go the distance? It changes everything.
Congratulations.
It is half sincere, because the other half is apologetic.
Why apologetic?
Because I feel you deserve better?
Because deep down I know that it could have been me?
Do I want it to be me? Half yes half no.
Why half yes?
Because my ego is huge and I believe the person I am right now and in the future would still be a better fit in every possible way.
Why half no?
Because if ceteris paribus, I would not have been who I am today. Which leads to the paradox of if the incident did not turn out this way, would we still be who we are today? Would I still be obnoxious and would you still be an enabler of my egocentric condescending nature?
Nonetheless I am extremely grateful and extremely extremely extremely thankful of everything thats happened. Thanks for accepting me at my worst, thanks for the experiences and emotions that allowed me to take the first step into being a better person. We were young, naive, foolish but the emotions were raw and real. You let me understand the strong desire of wanting and protecting someone. All our promises and dreams of the future, how many came true for you I wonder. All I can say is I'm sorry because I failed to keep mine to you.
I really do not like the way we left things. Blinded by my own ego, I failed to see whats important and failed to see the sacrifices you made and the constraints we had. Yes. Sacrifices that only you made, I did not make a single sacrifice and I am more sorry than ever. I was selfish, very selfish, disgustingly selfish. I really want a chance to make it up to you, but it is too late. Once again, I had all these years to do so, why only to this day I decided to reflect? Sigh.. I am pathetic..
Therefore, the decision is to keep a distance. Once again, the ego in me (that dictates whatever decision I make is the right one) is telling me to not remind you. Not remind you of what could have been and what had been. The decision for me to let go, then and now, is the right one. The difference however, was that I was selfish before, and now I am just sorry and want to do the right thing,
Congratulations.
