Ramblings after 2 months.

Fuck you CPF. Thats how I shall start this post. The amount on the contract verses the amount on the pay advice the difference is just too dam high.

Barely working for 2 months, I must say the job scope is pretty close to my expectations. In terms of curriculum, I take about 30+ periods a week from 745 to 1315. One day of CCA till 4. Thats about it. In terms of preparation, not much is needed since I am considered untrained and hence not required to do up a proper lesson plan, just leech other teacher's lesson plan can already. Even if I have to do one myself after ***, its just fluff and jargon. My specialty.

However, in terms of saikang, I must say, I really do get alot since the people my HOD can spam is literally me and another teacher only. Still, it is within my expectations UNTIL end of year comes. In short, everything that has to do with music, my HOD will propose a plan, and throw to me to execute. Holy shit, I took up the workload of 3 people for Prize Giving Ceremony alone and the very next day I took up the workload of 6 people for Arts Festival. Shall not go into details but just a brief version to remind myself to take MC if Arts Festival ever comes again.

Knowledge board, QR Codes
Directional Signs, Informative signs, Toilet signs. 147 signs in total, design + print + putting it up alone.
27 performing groups. Schedule + Rehearsal + Sound check + Collate music + Babysit
A fked up colleague that talks alot and volunteers alot of 天马行空 and 异想天开 ideas, and sabos me into executing them. Cb this mofo deserves one solid post on his own. In short, karma on me for getting carried so hard in NUS. He is an upgraded fked up version of the past me coz even the past me will just keep quiet and do nothing, whereas this fktard talks out of his ass while others wipe it for him.

After a gruesome end to the school term, there comes the stock taking. Fuck, even in NS I absofkinglutely hated to do stores. Furthermore, stock taking is like wiping a gigantic asshole having diarrhoea and its not even my own ass. Everyone just dumps their music resources on my table, music instruments are everywhere, there are like 40 over xylphones, 40 over ukeleles, 20 over drums, 42 angklungs, 200+ other random music accessories thrown all around the school. And I have to label them ONE BY FKING ONE with serial numbers and shit. ALONE. This is madness. The system is horrific, the execution is horrific, saikang I still can take it but laosaikang? Sigh.

Enough of negative stuff. Lets have some positive stuff. Teaching can truly give alot of job satisfaction when one looks past all the laosaikang. I had a group of P5 naughty boys who were ill behaved and had single digit score in Maths, they came up to me and said they wanted to perform for arts festival. Long story short, the naughtiest boy became the leader since only he had some dancing background. The rest of the naughty boys actually learnt how to dance from scratch and they sat in silence while listening to the leader teach them. It was truly enlightening how every single teacher warned me about them and there they were, despite the class hate, despite the teachers prejudice, despite the school's judgement, they managed to come up with a performance that even Minister asked for an encore.

I was shocked, truly shocked. It was the first time in my life I had a jaw dropping experience where my jaw involuntarily dropped. Its not those times where I dropped for the sake of dropping, this was real. I saw a group of naughty boys shuffling, break-dancing, somersaulting, coordinating formations from scratch. Up to the point where they performed for the Minister and they came running to me after their performance, eyes burning with desire, filled with passion, sweat pouring from everywhere, and asked me if they could do it again. The amount of passion and enthusiasm overwhelmed me at that moment and I must admit I teared up a little.

Think about it. Where do we get to see this kind of passion nowadays? You give those boys 10 years, they would become typical fkers like me.

Perform for school?


Imagine asking your friends to perform something they have never done before. This would be the typical response.





Perform an extra item for the Minster?

"Throw face la.. dowan la.. siao malu ourselves in front of minister only."







I am truly humbled by this experience, I have always said "grades are not everything" to sound politically correct. This time I fking mean it. For real.

To end this post, let me tell you all a joke. Within 2 weeks of joining the school, my colleagues during lunch asked me this question:" Would you like to know more about God?"

Law of Inverse Game Luck

It is official. I am now a teacher. This post will expose a certain ritual that I firmly believe in. A few post back I mentioned that I have been quite lucky and just a quick recap on how lucky I am:

Car accident no injury.
BTO in Tampines.
Graduated from NUS with no work done.
A- for FYP with no work done.
Successfully get a job that is within my target.
Zoe.

To be honest, I would love to credit all my luck to Zoe because life has never been the same after I met her. In fact, without her immense coaching before A levels, my Maths would have flunked just like my Physics and Econs. And most of you would know that she is a super tryhard in terms of studies so the fact that she took so much time off her revision to help me proves how lucky I am.

Those multiple coaching sessions allowed me to get into NUS due to an A in Maths despite the abysmal results in Physics and Econs and that was the start of the amazing luck.

I firmly believe in karma. Not so much as doing bad to others and bad things will happen to you also, but rather if something bad luck happens to you, you will get an equally lucky break.

Not many people know the full story of how NS screwed me over, but long story short, if NS didnt screw me over, I would not have met my hyper-carry in Uni. Case in point, bad luck -> good luck.

Not many people know the story of how I finally made the decision to quit maple due to extenuating circumstances, long story short, without quitting, I would have never started blackshot, never met HeavenRemix, never been able to stand on the stage of WCG kissing a medal, how many people can daresay they took a game so seriously so far to that extend?  Furthermore I would have never started maple private server, never met Dollars/Ikke in DN which in turn would not have given me all the fun memories and money to go Taiwan, how many people can say they stood at the top of 2 MMORPGs? Case in point, bad luck? Fk that shit -> Even better luck.

So far, it may seem luck has been favouring me in irrelevant things like games. The next part of the story would go into Dota/LoL. Some of you may know, I went to WCG Dota when I was in secondary 3/4 and got 4th in the Asia Regionals. So therefore I always felt that I was good in MOBA games. LoL is a game that is similar in concept to Dota and I aspired to be as good in LoL as I was in Dota. However, despite previous success in Dota, despite dominating FPS, dominating Action MMO, dominating MMORPG, I could not go far in LoL. Perhaps I was old, perhaps I was getting  tired of games, perhaps I coudlnt give enough fks to be a tryhard, but an interesting phenomenon occured.

Every time a really important life event was going to happen, I would go on MASSIVE losing streaks. I was still playing ranked games despite 0 progress in FYP, after 17 consecutive losses, I stopped playing, and suddenly my FYP was done. After the interview, I had 16 consecutive losses, and abracadabra I am now a teacher with my dream subject combination.

Perhaps I am giving myself an excuse as to why I suck in LoL, but being bad was well worth it.

Going into the next part of my life, I am kinda sorta reluctant. Not that I dowan to work or I dowan to stop playing, its just that I have to start giving a fk to things that I have long not given fks to.

Things that I have not given a fk to:

1) People.
2) Building relationships.
3) Impressions of others.
4) My image.

Now that I have to start work, be a role model, start making friends with colleagues, suck HOD balls, trying to carry on pointless and boring and fake conversations with people I give zero fucks to. Sigh.

Grow the fk up Danny. Stop whining like a little bitch. I guess this is what it means to 踏入社会. Time to respect authority and stop testing/challenging the system. Time to 早睡早起, time to be politically correct, time to man up and shoulder some responsibility and work towards a family someday.

One thing will never change though,

Dear Miss Yeo,

I love you. I want to make you Mrs Chu soon <3

Regards,
Mr Jay =D

You will always be the silver lining to whatever bad luck that bestows upon me, you will always be the good luck that follows me around without complaints, and as some would say: blind faith.

Job *** Interview

Ok this post is meant to be informative. So I will keep the vulgarities at a bare minimum.

So you think you can teach?

Lets not kid ourselves. What exactly is "passion for teaching"? When people tell me they have a passion for teaching, my first impression is "he likes to be the smartest person in a group" or "he likes to 讲大道理 ". Do not get me wrong, there is absolutely nothing wrong with both mentalities. Everyone enjoys being the smartest in the group or having people listen to your 大道理.

So basically, if you wanna be a teacher, apply online, wait for reply, if shortlisted go down to *** for essay writing and interview and a 5 min verbal presentation on any topic of your choice.

Here are the essay questions that were given to me. ( 3 choose 1 )

1) What are your views on a teacher dating a student after he/she graduates and is of legal age?

2) What are your views on a teacher accepting expensive gifts from students?

3) Responsibility, Integrity, Respect bla bla bla, which of the above core values do you think is the most important and why?

Obviously being the humji dog that I am, I chose Q3.

And I am quite sure people who know me know what are my views on Q1 and Q2 hence understanding why I chose Q3 since I do want to get the job.

Next was the interview, 4 old people asking me a bunch of standard questions.

Pro tip: Do not say things like "I like to interact with kids" if you are a male. Just don't.

So why do you want to be a teacher?

What I wanted to say:
I dun. I dun even wanna work a single day of my life. I just wanna sit on my ass playing games with money dropping from the sky.

What I said:
"I feel that as a teacher, I play an instrumental role in molding the nation's future and I feel a great sense of achievement and satisfaction when I am able to inspire the next generation of students the way my teachers have inspired me in the past."

So what makes you think you can be a teacher?

What I want to say:
Because the students today are fked up. I am fked up. I understand them. Takes one to know one. You think your *** courses are enough to cover the amount of toxicity in the generation of students today? Lmao. Just ask the minister of education to go play 10 ranked games in LoL and I assure you he will revamp his useless policies and courses the very next day.

What I said:
"From young I have been known to be vocal and hence I want to work in an environment where I can interact and communicate with others while exchanging intellectual ideas. With my outgoing personality and my continual involvements with both music and sports, I believe I fit right into the ***'s policy of having a holistic education experience and hence be able to guide and inspire students to take the holistic path in education as well."

Edit: The entire segment above was just a joke. Everything on this blog is a joke. A great big joke. Now that I have the job, I love teaching and I am just trying really hard to be funny k? So dear *** background checker, I am just a humble teacher who tries too hard to be funny, please 大人有大量 and let me carry on trying to entertain myself without blacklisting me or firing me ok? Thanks in advice mighty ***<3

Edit 2: Replaced all traces of my boss name into ***. Save my own humji ass.

25 years old

Dayum I'm 25. Take a deep breath, take one step back, DAYUM I'm 25.

No accomplishments, no job, no money but a $300k HDB loan and a girlfriend looking forward to getting married. DAYUM.

It has been a long long long time since I bothered to write anything here since I only do so if something significant happened such as game maintenance or during exam time where anything else seems 100000x more fun. But I guess there are some things for me to remember as a joke in the future.

I graduated. That itself has to be the greatest joke of the Singapore education system. I got carried so so so so hard and I can daresay I learnt close to absolutely nothing in the 4 years except the fact that I am not suited to be a computer engineer. Therefore I shall dedicate an entire paragraph to my beloved carry: Lets call him R.

I was destined to graduate from NUS by doing nothing the day SAF posted me to 30 SCE. Reason being if I did not know my NS buddy, he would not have introduced me to R in the first day of school. So how did he carry? Basically, for the 8 semesters in NUS, I did not have to plan for any of my core modules and electives at all. He single handedly planned the perfect timetable for our clique that involves the most efficient "bid points to free day to easiness" ratio. I would sleep until 4pm on close bidding day, he would wake me up and tell me how many points to bid for which mod and I would just follow suit. G-motherfking-G. He even taught me some CORS mechanics that involved dropping a core mod and bidding it in round 3 to refund half the points or sth, till today I have no idea whats happening, I just listened to him. The catchphrase in the 4 years was "Dun doubt R".

To put things into perspective, I would wake up, check my whatsapp, R would tell me today got lecture, I would go empty handed, walk into the LT and notes would be printed for me on the table already. Sometimes I would take electives and would briefly mention my project deadlines to R and 2 days before the deadline holyfk R would remind me that I had a deadline for a mod that he never even take. LOL.

In year 4, we had to choose our FYPs, we tried to look for the same prof and do the same FYP together. Sadly our cap discrepancy was too big and for once my guilty conscience SCREAMED at me when R wanted to reject a FYP that he wanted to do because the prof didnt want to take me in as well. Therefore I decided to man up, and told him I would be fine doing another FYP on my own.

My FYP was a joke. But thats another story for another time.

One of the most memorable getting carried experience was CS4243, R literally SOLO-ED the whole project, we never met up even ONCE for this project. On the presentation day itself, R told me and H to go school early, and he showed us the PPT slides and explained to us what he did and taught us what to say. Ultimate carry. Not to mention we got extra marks because apparently the work R did was so good that it even beat all the name long name short people. Holy fuuck I think saying I got carried is definitely an understatement at this point. Up till today I still have no idea what CS4243 stands for.

TBC.
*** / *** Interview
Relief teaching all girls school
$220 谭鱼头 bday treat.
Inverse law of game luck.

The end of NUS life.

So much to be remembered. And of course, tomorrow is my paper and I choose this perfect time to type something here. On second thought, I should get back to studying before the consequences contradict the title.

Candy Crushed

Ok so apparently there is this new mobile game called candy crush and many people are hooked onto it. I obviously hopped on the bandwagon but have regretted it ever since. Its even more stressful then WCG and I simply cannot take it already.

Every time I play the game on the MRT, Bus, NUS Shuttle, in lecture, there will definitely be people over my shoulders staring at my screen. From kids to friends to adults and even ah mas, I always feel that I am being scrutinized deeply. Every move I make there will be looks of disapproval and head shaking from all around me and even an occasional sigh of disappointment.

Furthermore when I have a few moves left and 1 jelly/1 fruit left to clear, anyone would obviously spend more time thinking about their final few steps. So everyone around me is like waiting in baited breath for my epic legendary move of the century while I think long and hard. That is when the pressure and expectations start to build up, when I finally make my epic legendary move of the century that does not clear the whole screen at 1 go, I literally heard a friend whisper "wtf" to his another friend while I stared at the game over screen.

Ok I might have exaggerated here and there. Point is: I really have a decent IQ, please dun judge me by my Candy Crush performance.

PS: My fav place to play is still in the toilet. That is when the concentration is the highest and no prying judgmental eyes (i hope).

Another thing that has been bugging me recently. The White Paper. I personally have absolutely NO IDEA what it is about besides the main caption of " Singapore population to reach/hit 6.9m in/by 2030". Suddenly everyone on Facebook is a fking politician. Suddenly everyone in school is a fking politician. Suddenly everyone has an opinion about what are the negative consequences and everyone starts quoting/repeating things that they have read and shared on facebook and pretending to be knowledgeable and understandable about this issue.

Who cares? This is not the first time the Govt chu pattern.
Who cares? If you have the time to worry about something that far away in 2030, dude you are really having a good life now.

I barely understand what my modules are teaching me. I barely even remember when my submissions and deadlines are. Why would anyone care about something that is going to happen 17 years later? Like as if our population has not been growing and like as if the negative consequences haven already hit us hard enough.

I read this from somewhere. Found it insightful.

17 years ago, a basic NUS engineer starting pay is $1900.
Now its $2600. A $700 increase.

17 years ago, a Toyota is $30000.
Now the COE alone for car is $100000. $70000 increase. Haven even buy a door or a wheel yet.

The point is, who cares? There are like tons of problems to worry about today. Stop being a fking parrot and leave the policy making to the politicians. We all know each other well enough to know that no one gives a serious fk about politics. Some complaints here and there at most? Dun post for the sake of posting, dun say for the sake of saying and please dun repeat what has already been said with the aim to impress. The problem is way too big of a scale for anyone of us at our level to even start thinking about solutions.

Its like saying, Dota is going to release 2000 new heroes by 2030. Blackshot is going to release 2000 new guns by 2030. Some MMO is going to release 2000 new bosses/dungeons by 2030. Who cares? The impact of having new heroes, new guns, new bosses have already been around since the beginning. Every new hero is broken, every new boss is going to crash the economy. Who cares? So what now? Threaten to quit? Threaten to boycott the game? In the end nobody cares. Not even you.

Same thing. Now what? Threaten to migrate (quit game)? Threaten to vote for WP (boycott)? Childish fucks. Firstly, you dun make a difference. Secondly, nobody cares.

Dun get me wrong. Sharing is always caring. I enjoy reading real stuff to gain knowledge about the White Paper. I just fking hate it when people start getting self righteous with their shallow and parroted opinions. To quote one of my best friend, "a look of disdain is what you will get".